We were very happy with the backbone of the storyline for our first narrative, we felt like it had the authenticity of a fresh horror film, but using some of the conventions and icons of the iconic horror films. Such as; Teenagers, Scary location, blood etc. We also found that there were some continuity issues with the story, and it needed bulking up to make for a more understandable narrative and alltogether a better read. Also the voice over has been added, again to add to the creepy vibe we tried to Instill in our trailer.
(New and Improved Narrative)
Michael, James, Jordan, Luke and Ella have taken the final of their A levels and are not happy with how they went, they need these results desperately otherwise they will not get into the desired university of their choice, the year that they choose.
That same evening they decide as a group to go back into the school after hours to see if they can get their exam papers back and change some of the answers. Everyone is all for it other than Jordan. She is typically known within the group as the “good one”. She doesn’t want to go back in to get the answers as she thinks that they should all accept their honest result and deal with whatever comes with it. Predictably, the others do not agree and she is resultantly talked into sneaking into the school to change answers.
Michael, James use a metal pole to unhook the latch at the back door of the school. Luke is seen to be making jokes little to the amusement of the girls. The papers they are looking for are kept in a locked office. They set off down a corridor to the caretaker’s office to find the keys, and are disturbed by eerie atmosphere and flickering lights. They are taken off the correct route by Luke who has heard rumors the caretaker had a ‘creepy’ key shed at the back of the field. They are convinced to go this way despite much deliberation.
The shed stands alone isolated from the rest of the school, and is completely chained up, so Ella uses a hair pin to open the padlock and it opens with a frightening creek, to the sheer disturbance of Jordan. Who screams loudly but is quickly silenced by her friends. To their surprise there is little in the caretaker’s shed, one filing cabinet a table and a small wooden box. The bareness of the shed baffled the group as they didn’t see any sign of keys or anything that didn’t have a layer of dust on. Jordan takes this as a sign to abandon the mission. Nonetheless the rest of the group begins to search trough drawers looking for a master key. Luke mutters something about a lack of mobile phone signal. They begin to become frustrated as the fear of what they were actually doing finally begins to set in.
Jordan had been drawn towards the box, as she noticed it was unlatched. She sat in front of the box and began to rummage through. Nothing that she found really seemed to make sense; she found a locket, some birthday cards, a black and white group photo of students and an old perfume bottle. She noticed several single photos that had the eyes on the photo scratched out. She called for her friends immediately and shared what she had found, the group looked at the items and examined them closely, and they couldn’t understand why these almost demonic looking items were kept in their caretaker’s office. They also couldn’t make out who was in the photos. Then it suddenly dawned on them that they had never known the identity of the school caretaker. Jordan then comes across an old piece of and feels energy about this particular item. The group look on intrigued by the writing as Jordan reads;
He despises teens because they‘re loud and bad
Many years at this school have made him go mad.
If you think you can get away, you’re very wrong
The secret of this shed won’t stay hidden for long.
He’ll wring your neck if you scream and shout
Wonder who he is? You’ll soon find out.
Now he’s escaped to settle the score
Because you forgot to close the shed door.
As Jordan read the last line the door banged loudly unlatched in the wind and Ella gasps deafeningly. The gang looks around at each other afraid. They decide to put back everything as found it and leave quickly ignoring what they had read and ultimately getting more scared by the second. They did all of this successfully and reached the corridor that had lead them outside. While there they hear footsteps coming from all around them. The footsteps were intrusive but the group could tell that they only belonged to one person. The footsteps were now louder and were accompanied by the sound of a screaming woman. This quickly prompted screaming from a terrified Ella followed by a failed attempt to calm her down by the Michael. All five of them run to the nearest exit and began franticly trying to open it. They it is locked. A dead silence dropped upon all of them and James utters the words “this door was not locked when we came in”. The startling sound of shattered glass comes soon after prompting more whimpering as the lights cut out. The group makes a run for it, ending up hiding in different rooms within the school.
By now it really has become a full on mouse chase, but scarily it is not evident yet what exactly is chasing them. James unfortunately upon trying to reach a hidden destination, is hit over the head with the same pole that he used to open the door at the beginning and killed. Ella stumbles across James’ body as she is making her run for it and lets out an almighty scream. She sprints away to find the others but when she finds Michael and brings him back to the location where James is, he is nowhere to be found. The smell of bleach suggests that someone has attempted to clean up the blood stained floor.
Michael runs back to the caretaker’s office in the hope of maybe finding the keys that can open the doors and free the group, but he too is beaten to death by a mysterious figure. One by one they all begin to go. Ella is next when she tries to escape through the window, and she is shortly followed by Luke who was trapped alone.
Jordan is the last one left hiding cleverly from the killer. Jordan recalls seeing an emergency phone in the shed and begins her frightening mission to reach it coming across a dying Michael. She successfully calls the police but her life is immediately endangered as she is confronted by the caretaker; she is whacked over the head with the bloody pole. She appears to be dead and the killer goes to retire but we see she is alive. She reaches for the box and hits him over the head with it. After knocking him out, she escapes into the hands of the police. She tries to explain the caretaker is attacking her but the police are unconvinced. They search the real caretaker’s modern office and find nothing. They cannot find any trace of the dead bodies she is claiming that there are, she is warned that wasting police time is a serious offence. As Jordan is driven away in the police car the caretaker’s silhouette can be seen standing on the school field watching them.
